All Talk – Talking with Your Man
Most guys DO like to talk. Learning how will help you out, help them out and maybebe the saving grace of your relationship. Good communication is essential inevery relationship, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that endless communication is good communication. Read our pointers on how to talk to your guy effectively.
You You You You Usually
Like every other person on the planet, guys surprisingly don’t want to listen to you talk about you all the time. Whilst your feelings and experiences are essential, talking about them incessantly is not. Instead of feeling hurt or neglected, except it as a universal truth and create a healthy balance in your quality time.
Getting the Talking/Doing Balance Right
Guys like to talk when it’s mixed up with doing other things as well. So make sure your connection time is built on shared experiences, sports, activities,cooking, hanging with friends and lots of fun as well as expressing yourself verbally.
No Sour Sallys
It’s OK to have a bad day and express it, but make sure not all your conversation is negative if you want him to want to listen.
Keeping it Practical
When talking about your needs from him don’t complain, nag or get angry. Just state what hurts in you when he does X and make a request of how he can help you.That way even conflict can stay positive. Try using this confrontation model: “I feel….when you…because…so can you…?”. Simple is powerful.
Short and Sweet
When you do talk about yourself or your relationship, be succinct. Keeping it short and powerful, will keep conversation time meaningful for both of you and a positive experience. You don’t have to cover everything at once. Choose what’s important to say and say it well, with time to discuss and listen thrown in.
How Can He Help?
Most guys like to be able to respond practically to your needs so give them a doable, clear suggestion of how they can help.
Keeping it Interesting
Equally,vary the content of conversations. Don’t just talk about feelings, talk about what you are both interested in, sports, literature, film, current affairs…
Not Every Bowel Movement
Be selective. You want to be known and so does he, but he doesn’t want to know everything about you. Communicate what is important to you and let him ask you the rest. Allow him to pursue who you are and discover you, rather than overwhelm him with details.
Being a Great Listener
Sharing yourself is important to building connection, but so is listening. Ask him questions and keep checking that over the course of a week you talk about him as much as yourself.
Don’t talk. Sometimes let him initiate conversation. Choice equals freedom.