The UK Christian Singles Community.

Dating is as individual as the individuals who show up. There may be little rhyme or reason that applies to us all, but these ten pointers will serve you well...

1. Love

   So it may not be the best plan to declare undying love on a first date, neither will you be in love, but lets not be scared of the L word in the dating arena. The terms we use are irrelevant, but the way we live is essential. Rather than banish L O V E, bring it back to the forefront of dating. Remember we are called to love everyone. Our relationships will then point to God. Rom 12:9&10 says 'Let love be genuine..out do one-another in showing honor'. Christian dating shouldn't look like a nun and monk convention, but it should be packed full of love and honor. If you are loving, you will never need to worry about purity.

2. Dates are not interviews

   Dating is about having a good time whoever you are with. Have an adventure, be creative, do what you love to do, relax! This isn't a job interview. So chill, take the pressure off, make a friend and have a good time.

3. A date does not mean a life-long commitment

   Healthy dating culture is stayed when Christians get unduly intense about it. A date is not an engagement ring. So girls don't even go there mentally and guys don't think that girls expect an 'I Do' off the back of a coffee date. Serial cups of coffee with different people is sometimes regarded next to serial killer status in the church. Lets all take a step back and remind ourselves that a date, is just a date.

4. Playing it cool, is not cool.

   If you're going on a date do it well, even if you realize your date is not the one for you – spoil them anyway! Treat them how you want your future spouse to be treated on dates before they meet you! Being attentive, warm and well mannered will never result in a wasted evening.

5. Be Brave.

   Relationships aren't for the faint hearted. “I'll call you” or “let's do this again” when you don't mean it is not 'an easy let down', it's cowardice. Be brave and treat them nice. Be authentic. Communicate.

6. Timeliness

   Fashionably late does not apply to dating. It could leave you unfashionably alone. Being late does not protect or honor the other person and it communicates that their time is not important to you. If you are going to be late let them know and do what you can to make it up to them.

7. Kiss negativity goodbye

   No positive person like to hang around negativity very long. So if you don't want to end up with a negative person, don't be one. From The Weather to ex-beau's, kiss negativity goodbye if you want to live happily ever after in 'glass half full land'.

8. Be attentive.

   People want to be known more than anything. Really listen rather than planning your next comment. Ask questions about what they are telling you. Don't have a counter story for every one of theirs – it's not a competition!

9. Know God will work it all out

   We know that God 'works all things for the good of those who love Him' (Rom 8.28), so can we trust Him to work out our love life? When you carry the confidence of knowing God is for you and has good plans for you, you will have more fun along the way and won't come across needy or desperate.

10. Know who you are. Know who they are.

    Remembering that like you, your date is the son or daughter of the King of Kings, will help you to treat them well. It will also give you have the self-confidence that comes from knowing you are amazing because of who your daddy is.